This is a letter I’ve written to my sons about the importance of good friends. I hope you’ll find some of these ideas helpful when talking with your own children.


Dear Sons,

Today I wanted to discuss friends.

Friends are important.

Good friends are critical.

You may think you know how to pick good friends, and to some degree you’re right – you know which kids are interesting, seem friendly, or are nice to you.

You know which kids like doing the same things as you and which ones don’t.

The Problem

The problem is that sometimes we think people are good friends when they may really not be.

..Or sometimes people may seem like a good friend now, but may not be in the long run.

Why is it important in making sure we have good friends, not just friends?

For one thing, your friends greatly affect you – for better or worse.

Some friends build you up and help you in life, while other friends can lead you down a bad path to a sad, hard life.

Let’s take a look at some of the things that make for a good friend vs. a bad friend.

Good Friends vs Bad Friends

Good friends encourage you to follow your dreams. Bad friends make fun of you when you want to try something new.

Good friends help others. Bad friends make fun of others who need help.

Good friends work hard. Bad friends do very little other than play and want others to do their work for them.

Good friends push themselves to be better. Bad friends are happy doing the minimum required.

Good friends are honest. Bad friends regularly lie and maybe even steal.

Good friends don’t do drugs or alcohol. Bad friends encourage you to do drugs or alcohol.

Good friends are happy you have a strong family. Bad friends tell you to hide things from your family.

In short, good friends are people who adhere to our family code.

Note: Just because a friend does one or two bad things doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a bad friend – just be aware of if they’re a good friend who sometimes makes mistakes or they may really be a bad friend.

Sometimes You Have to Search for Good Friends

Good friends are important to have a fulfilling, happy and successful life.

Just make sure you are doing a good job of picking them and don’t settle for bad friends.

Believe it or not, sometimes it can actually be better to be lonely than to settle for bad friends.

And sometimes you need to make an effort and seek out good friends, not just wait for one to show up.

But sooner or later, good friends will always appear, and it’s worth the wait.

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