Yesterday, after telling my boys for the 10,000th time to finish their piano lessons, I sent both of them to timeout. Outside. Apart. When it was in the 90s. (Chill out, they weren’t in the sun and it was only for 10 min)

Now for many parents, this may sound like it’s not much of a punishment at all, but my boys tend to like staying inside more than outside, and they definitely like playing with each other more than being alone. In fact, they really don’t seem to know what to do with themselves when they’re outside alone (that’s a story for another day though).

Anyway, after I had sent my first boy outside for a period, I heard him crying a bit so opened the front door.  He was pretty freaked out and rambling on about bugs, and insects with wings, and all sorts of stuff related to creepy crawly things.  After talking with him a bit, it appeared he has at least a partial phobia to insects (My wife confirmed this to me later).

I decided to try an interesting approach with him based on exposure therapy, I’m hoping will help him get over his phobia.

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If your kids are like mine, they have a nasty habit of not cleaning up after themselves. And when they’re told they need to clean something up (their room, the play area) they drag their feet or do a crummy job that requires more “discussions”.

I’ve stumbled on a technique that is a nice alternative to the parental nag approach.

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Parents who work in tech are often much more restrictive than non-tech worker parents when it comes to their kids and tech-exposure. Why is this?

Because digital devices can often come with a lot of downsides.

It’s long been rumored that Steve Jobs didn’t allow his child to have an iPad. A recent story on Silicon Valley parents details this trend by describing a couple of parents who work for Apple and a small high-tech startup:

The Koduris’ life is that of the quintessential Silicon Valley family, except for one thing. The technology developed by Koduri and Shahi’s employers is all but banned at the family’s home.

There are no video game systems inside the Koduri household, and neither child has their own cell phone yet. Saurav and Roshni can play games on their parents’ phones, but only for 10 minutes per week.

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With kids being exposed to thousands to information sources and other voices constantly, it can seem hard, if not impossible to ensure children are growing up with a set of values you approve of.

Today’s episode can help. We discuss a quick and easy tool you can employ to help instill the values you find important in your children.

Subscribe to the Podcast

The podcast is still new so we’re not in iTunes yet, but you can still subscribe!

Just go to the Add Podcast area of your player and choose Add URL or Feed and enter http://99parent.libsyn.com/rss

Associated Article

How to Teach Your Child to Do the Right Thing

This article is based on Episode 3 of the 99 Parent Podcast.

One of the most challenging things parents encounter is how to communicate values and ethics to kids.

If you’re like many parents, it’s done in a very informal way.

However, doing things in an ad-hoc manner can be problematic. When we don’t clearly state what’s right and what’s wrong, we end up leaving that up to the rest of society to do.

And a lot of times the lessons our kids learn from society aren’t the ones we want our kids living by.

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The Stuff You Should Know Podcast has a great episode right up our alley. This topic of the episode? The Free Range Parenting movement.

Free Range Parenting centers around the philosophy that parents should give their kids freedom have time away from overseeing adults. This gives kids the opportunity to learn independence and how to participate in self-governing peer groups.

The movement arose in reaction to the popular culture trend of kids being hyper-protected and hyper-scheduled. This rigid environment has caused kids to grow up anxious and not very confident.

The Free Range Parenting movement makes recommendations such as allow your kids to walk to school by themselves, go to the store by themselves, or play in a park without a supervising adult.

Whether you are familiar with Free Range Parenting or not, this episode is worth a listen.
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In this episode, we discuss something that can lower your child’s anxiety, and increase their confidence: Self-Reliance.

Find out exactly what self-reliance is, signs that a child doesn’t have a self-reliant mindset, and how parents can create an environment which helps children become more self-reliant.

Subscribe to the Podcast

The podcast is still new so we’re not in iTunes yet, but you can still subscribe!

Just go to the Add Podcast area of your player and choose Add URL or Feed and enter http://99parent.libsyn.com/rss

Articles

The article this podcast is based on can be found here.

Books Referenced

Beyond Success and Failure: Ways to Self-Reliance and Maturity

Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgant World

This article is based on Episode 2 of the 99 Parent Podcast.

Self-Reliance is the greatest gift any parent can give a child, for it is a habit of mind that follows him all his life and levels the mountains as he goes.

-Willard and Margeurite Beecher, Beyond Success and Failure

Children face a lot of struggles in today’s world. From keeping up with mountains of schoolwork, to dealing with the stress of internet-fueled peer pressure, to being hovered over by helicopter parents.

Ironically, even though kids are growing up in a time of information abundance, one of the most important things kids should learn about while they’re growing up is one that is seldom taught: self-reliance.

What exactly is self-reliance? In short, it’s the ability of an individual to handle the problems required of them in life. But it’s even more than that. What comes with self-reliance is deep confidence in one’s own abilities, the knowledge that one can rely on an unchanging part of him or herself, and that one’s success or emotional stability isn’t reliant on the whims of others.

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